10:32 pm I am always missing my baby girl, but tonight I found myself thinking about her lots and really needing some time 'with her.' After we got the big girls to bed and Josh and I had some time to visit and relax together, I decided I would read for a bit then spend time 'with her'--looking at some of her pics. I read a book I received from some relatives titled "The Last Thing We Talk About."--I've been reading it, but tonight something really stood out to me. The author was talking about how he had a friend who was a Christian leader who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He said people all around the world were praying for this Christian leader and some of them "just knew he would be healed." Unfortunately, despite all the prayers, just like our sweet Avelyn, he was not. Then the author states "Death for the Christian should be a shout of triumph, through sorrow and tears, bringing glory to God--not a confused misunderstanding of the will of God to heal." It's been so hard knowing that God could heal our baby girl, but didn't. Josh and I have talked about God's sovereign will a lot recently, and I've come to realize that, as hard as it is, it was God's will, and that's that.--He knows what's best and "works for the good of those who love Him" Romans 8:28. It's still so hard for me knowing this, BUT as the book stated, I need to focus on "shouting of triumph," knowing my precious daughter is in heaven and there is NO doubt that I will see her again, because I know Christ as my Lord and Savior, as well. PRAISE GOD for this!!!
After reading a few chapters in the book, I began looking at pictures of our sweet Avelyn, spending time 'with her.' At times I cried, but it gave me so much comfort remembering the words I had just read...even though it wasn't God's will to heal her on earth, I need to "shout of triumph" because she is in heaven, happy & healthy.--Knowing this, it gave me so much peace looking at some of her pictures where she looks so swollen, just so uncomfortable.--NOT ANYMORE!! As always, tonight I think about meeting my baby girl again someday, THIS TIME HEALTHY, and I pray with her sisters too, spending eternity in heaven...
After reading a few chapters in the book, I began looking at pictures of our sweet Avelyn, spending time 'with her.' At times I cried, but it gave me so much comfort remembering the words I had just read...even though it wasn't God's will to heal her on earth, I need to "shout of triumph" because she is in heaven, happy & healthy.--Knowing this, it gave me so much peace looking at some of her pictures where she looks so swollen, just so uncomfortable.--NOT ANYMORE!! As always, tonight I think about meeting my baby girl again someday, THIS TIME HEALTHY, and I pray with her sisters too, spending eternity in heaven...