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December 17th, 2014

12/16/2014

 
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10:58pm   I have always LOVED snow. Goodland, KS, where I grew up, is just a few miles from the Colorado border and we got tons of snow when I was growing up. We lived over 10 miles out of town and had lots of trees, so we would get some huge snow drifts that my sisters and I would play on.--I think often about a time when we had so much snow we were able to climb onto our house via a snow drift then slide down a slide we had created in another snow drift. Who wouldn't love snow when you have your own amusement park of gigantic snow drifts surrounding your home?!?! Maybe my parents. :) Snow is different on the other side of life, as an adult, when you have power outages to deal with, buses not running your kids' route, driveways to finish shoveling when your kids poop out, and window screens getting pushed in bc your kids have made a slide from the top of your roof to the ground creating too much pressure for it to hold. ;) Despite all these differences, I still love snow, even as an adult. It's just so beautiful. So peaceful. I probably love it just as much as I love my sunshine. :)

Because of my love for snow, I still remember both Brooklan and Aili's first snows; I have a picture to remember both of these times--holding each of my daughters as the beautiful snow fell; Brooklan was just a few days old and I believe Aili was just over a month old--and Brooklan--who had just turned 4--actually took the pic of me & Aili. :) After seeing the beautiful snow tonight, that's the first thing I thought about. Missing this moment with Avelyn. Although...I just thought of this...even though she's not with me, she's seeing it. Seeing the beautiful, peaceful snow, just like I am.

Tonight as I looked out our front window to see the snow falling, I very quickly remembered the peaceful RAIN I watched a few months prior, the night we got a call from Avelyn's doctor letting us know her blood pressure was dropping. Sitting outside that night, watching that rain gave me the peace I had not yet known I would need as we left our home at 3am for what would end up being the last day we would spend here on this earth with our baby girl. I believe I did a Caring Bridge post about that peaceful rain the night our precious daughter flew to see our Savior. Tonight I sat outside bundled up with a cup of hot chocolate doing my devotional from my Hope book. Another peaceful night, but this time in the snow and thinking about my daughter (and life, for that matter) in an entirely different 'light.' As I sat outside in the cold, but comfortable night, I used the lights from our small Christmas trees sitting on our porch to light my page as I read my Hope devotional. I was wrapping up a week's worth of lessons on angels. The lessons have been really good...I have learned a lot. The peace I felt sitting outside on our front porch tonight was different than what I felt sitting in that same place a few months ago, in mid May - two weeks and a day after Avelyn was born. Today I initially felt a bit of an empty peace, missing my daughter in what would have been her first snow, but still with peace full of HOPE--knowing exactly where she is and that I will one day see her again. And God continues to fill up that empty peace, making it a FULL peace, by helping me to know Him more, focus on Him, love Him - try to live out His will for my life, and continuing to help me realize that in everything He does, "He works for the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28). THIS gives me peace. He gives me peace. The instant things get tough for me here, focusing on Him helps me to put everything into perspective!! I hope and pray you feel this peace as well. It's a peace that "transcends all understanding" (Phil 4:7), a peace I know exactly where it comes from, but that I don't understand how or why I am able to feel it in such tremendously difficult circumstances. I am beyond blessed and thankful that I know Him and am able to receive this peace, even though I don't understand it. Praise God.

As we all celebrate Christmas this next week, I pray we will all remember the 'reason for the season.' Look up. Look into that snow, through that snow, into the heavens above. Talk about beautiful.--What Christ has done for us is beyond beautiful. Enjoy celebrating our Savior's birth, friends. May you all have a Merry Christmas, safe travels, wonderful times with family, and that 'peace that transcends all understanding' knowing that He came to this earth, down from that beautiful heaven, to be born in a barn, to save YOU.

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Angel Ave.

12/6/2014

 
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12:53am     Have you ever seen those decorative signs, particularly for Christmas, that have a long board or stick, probably 3-5 feet tall, with 'road signs' lined across--top to bottom on the stick...like 'Reindeer Crossing' with an arrow to the right, 'North Pole' with an arrow to the left, Santa's Workshop' with an arrow one way, etc.?? Hopefully you can picture what I am very poorly trying to describe. :) About a month ago our Timeout group (a group of working moms from LifeSpring), went to Nell Hills in Atchison, KS on a Saturday morning; Nell Hills is a store I had heard of before, a store known for how packed full they are of fun & beautiful decorations. We saw a sign similar to the sign I am trying to describe, but at the top, the first 'road sign' said "Angel Ave" with an arrow pointing one way. My friend Ange & I saw it, and immediately I loved it.--To me it said two different things: 'Angel Avenue', a street name indicating 'angels that way' but also for OUR angel, our 'Angel Ave(lyn).' I thought right away, 'this is perfect, I have to have it,' but then all too quickly I realized it was attached to the whole stick with all the other 'road signs'...and it cost ~$170. Well, bummer. Big bummer and disappointment. That was not in my budget for this short trip. :) But my friend suggested I could make my own, and despite my lack of creativity and craft skills, I knew I could make this work! ;) She gave me some ideas and after a few weeks of finding some cheap supplies and the time to do it, I completed it. I will attach a pic. I think it turned out pretty well. And notice, the arrows are pointing every which way; our Angel is surrounding us. Everywhere. Every which way. I love it. :)

This has been kind of a crazy week. Definitely a week of ups and downs. And these ups and downs have mostly been unrelated to Avelyn. Stuff we all go through. Part of life. From celebrating birthdays to disciplining and dealing with a poor choice from your child. From a health issue of a family member to enjoying good company at Josh's work party. Just life. Ups and downs. Today, December 7th, is my older sister's birthday and it is also the day our sweet Avelyn would be 7 months old. Highs and lows. Last night at Josh's work party, I was able to meet one his co-workers and her husband who recently had twin boys, but lost one of them shortly after he was born due to a health issue. Talk about a mixture of emotions. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. I visited with the mom a bit, but not going into any detail. I feel so sorry for them. Such a sweet couple.

In the midst of such a crazy week, one positive, one of the 'ups,' I am excited about is earlier in the week going to pick up some children's bibles that Ron Stiles had ordered for us. Ron is Nathan Stiles' dad, whom I've written about before. Nathan is the 18 year quarterback, homecoming king, and young man with a heart hard after Jesus that passed away 4 years ago of a concussion suffered in a football game. Ron and his family have made it their mission to pass out as many bibles as possible and to let as many people as possible know about Jesus. They are nearing having passed out 16,000 bibles. Wow. What a lasting impact. After meeting Ron, his wife Connie, and their daughter Josie at the Nathan Project run in October, Ron had called and visited with me about the fact that sometimes when he is handing out bibles, people ask about children's bibles, and he wondered about our desire to help make this happen. Josh & I are thrilled about this potential impact we could begin to leave in memory and honor of Avelyn, with God's help and blessing. There are still some things we need to work out before we officially start this 'mission,' but we are loving the idea. Such a Light to focus on and look up to during an up and down week. Praise God for this.

So as our 'Angel Ave' is 'pointing' every direction, we pray God has a plan for her life to make a positive impact on the lives of His children--His creation--pointing every which way, making an impact on as many people as possible.

Happy 7 Month Birthday sweet Avelyn. We love you! Thank you sweet girl and thank you my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for continuing to help us with our daily lives, with the little things, with the ups...and with the downs, and most of all for keeping our focus on the things that really matter in this life, You.

Love & Hugs. :)

    Michele

    Avelyn's Mommy - Lover of Jesus - Receiver of God's GRACE

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