12:31am On days like today I am thankful we have faith in Jesus Christ and we know our precious baby girl is in heaven. Of course, 100%, I would rather her be here with me, holding her, loving on her, caring for her, feeding her, falling asleep with her as I cradle her. But God has a bigger plan for her and if she has to be anywhere other than in our home, I am glad she is resting in His arms...and it gives me so much peace to know she is now healthy, as well.
Today the girls and I had a day full of appts. We were headed to downtown KC, so I tried to work it out to where we could have all our needed appts up there done in one day. We first headed to St. Luke's on the Plaza where I was able to donate the milk I had pumped for Avelyn. This may be a later post of it's own, as well. :) So thankful there is someplace local that offers this service. We then headed to Children's Mercy, where exactly 5 weeks ago today, Avelyn was born. I first dropped off the girls at a play group they offer there, then I went to return the commercial pump they had loaned me. I had to return this to the NICU, where we always checked in before we would walk further down the hall to see Avelyn. I just wanted to sign in and go to D38, which was our daughter's and therefore our home too, for 2 weeks and 2 days. Obviously she would not have been in D38, and this is why I'm so thankful to know EXACTLY where she is resting, playing, and HEALTHY today. :) Praise God. While standing there to return the pump, I saw Dee (our social worker while we were there) - a very nice Christian lady whom we always loved visiting with and helped us with so much, then Jenn (Ave's nurse practitioner) - someone I was always thankful for bc she seemed so knowledgeable and always answered all our questions...and u could tell she cared too, and then Shy (my lactation consultant) who is always so sweet, who has also lost a precious child, and who helped guide me through the process of weaning from pumping and donating my milk. Saw all these nice folks just while standing there for 3-4 minutes--and I don't recall ever seeing any of them standing there before as I was checking in.--I believe God and our sweet Avelyn placed them there for me to visit with today. I got teary eyed with each of them, but I believe it was somewhat therapeutic as well to see them.
From there I headed to my check-up down the hall. While waiting for this appt, I happened to see one of the cardiologists we met with exactly 5 weeks earlier--the morning of our appt to 'rule-out' a heart condition for Avelyn. She recognized me and was so kind to visit for a few minutes. When my doctor/nurse practitioner was able to see me, they called me back and they ended up putting me in the exact same room I had been in for an ultrasound with Ave, almost exactly 5 weeks earlier to the minute, which was very weird. Again, this made me miss our sweet girl. The appt went well, but we didn't quite finish when it was time for me to go pick up the girls from the playgroup, as it gets over at noon. After this, I headed back with the girls to finish up my appt, and I happened to run into the OB that did my c-section.--She is quite possibly one of the nicest people I have ever met, and she just so happens to be an excellent doctor, as well. She is always so kind, knows her stuff, answers all my questions (even when I was asking her in the hallway today :) ), and I love that she always loves on our older girls when they have been with us, too. Just so sweet. As I visited with her today, she mentioned one thing I hadn't thought of. She said God gave Avelyn time on this earth so she would know she was loved. I can't remember exactly how she worded it, but it made me realize even more how by God's grace we got there exactly 5 weeks ago to see the cardiologist before Ave was born...to 'rule-out' that heart condition--with so many things having to happen so this would occur (read more about this in Avelyn's story or if u were at Ave's memorial service u know what I am talking about, as well). Avelyn's successful birth and time here (as there was no guarantee she would have made it at all if things didn't happen exactly the way they did) was not only so that we would get to meet her and spend time with her--as I always thought was the reason, but also so that she could feel our love and know how many people love HER. I loved that Dr. Satija mentioned this today. Oh...and by the way, the doctor's there work 24 hour shifts, so even though I was hoping I would run into her today, I knew the chances were very slim bc of their hours and not being there multiple days per week. Praise God I saw this dear lady/friend/doctor today and she shared this with me. We love u sweet Avelyn and we're so glad we got to show u!!
We ended this appt around 1pm in time for Aili's hernia repair check -up, a quick stop for a picnic and playing at a park near by, then back to Spring Hill for Brooklan's eye appt. Then swimming lessons and a softball game tonight. We survived our busy day, in fact the girls did great.--I was probably more grumpy than them by the end of all the appts. :)
So on days like today, even though they are sometimes not easy--emotionally, mentally, and physically (as we were 4 for 4 with appts, some of them in downtown KC + swimming + softball), they are perfectly planned out by God. Praise Him for this; I'm so thankful for the day we had and the people I saw on my journey through the day!! Thankful I can rely on Him and He not only gets me through, but He makes me stronger during the process and better off in the end...
Today the girls and I had a day full of appts. We were headed to downtown KC, so I tried to work it out to where we could have all our needed appts up there done in one day. We first headed to St. Luke's on the Plaza where I was able to donate the milk I had pumped for Avelyn. This may be a later post of it's own, as well. :) So thankful there is someplace local that offers this service. We then headed to Children's Mercy, where exactly 5 weeks ago today, Avelyn was born. I first dropped off the girls at a play group they offer there, then I went to return the commercial pump they had loaned me. I had to return this to the NICU, where we always checked in before we would walk further down the hall to see Avelyn. I just wanted to sign in and go to D38, which was our daughter's and therefore our home too, for 2 weeks and 2 days. Obviously she would not have been in D38, and this is why I'm so thankful to know EXACTLY where she is resting, playing, and HEALTHY today. :) Praise God. While standing there to return the pump, I saw Dee (our social worker while we were there) - a very nice Christian lady whom we always loved visiting with and helped us with so much, then Jenn (Ave's nurse practitioner) - someone I was always thankful for bc she seemed so knowledgeable and always answered all our questions...and u could tell she cared too, and then Shy (my lactation consultant) who is always so sweet, who has also lost a precious child, and who helped guide me through the process of weaning from pumping and donating my milk. Saw all these nice folks just while standing there for 3-4 minutes--and I don't recall ever seeing any of them standing there before as I was checking in.--I believe God and our sweet Avelyn placed them there for me to visit with today. I got teary eyed with each of them, but I believe it was somewhat therapeutic as well to see them.
From there I headed to my check-up down the hall. While waiting for this appt, I happened to see one of the cardiologists we met with exactly 5 weeks earlier--the morning of our appt to 'rule-out' a heart condition for Avelyn. She recognized me and was so kind to visit for a few minutes. When my doctor/nurse practitioner was able to see me, they called me back and they ended up putting me in the exact same room I had been in for an ultrasound with Ave, almost exactly 5 weeks earlier to the minute, which was very weird. Again, this made me miss our sweet girl. The appt went well, but we didn't quite finish when it was time for me to go pick up the girls from the playgroup, as it gets over at noon. After this, I headed back with the girls to finish up my appt, and I happened to run into the OB that did my c-section.--She is quite possibly one of the nicest people I have ever met, and she just so happens to be an excellent doctor, as well. She is always so kind, knows her stuff, answers all my questions (even when I was asking her in the hallway today :) ), and I love that she always loves on our older girls when they have been with us, too. Just so sweet. As I visited with her today, she mentioned one thing I hadn't thought of. She said God gave Avelyn time on this earth so she would know she was loved. I can't remember exactly how she worded it, but it made me realize even more how by God's grace we got there exactly 5 weeks ago to see the cardiologist before Ave was born...to 'rule-out' that heart condition--with so many things having to happen so this would occur (read more about this in Avelyn's story or if u were at Ave's memorial service u know what I am talking about, as well). Avelyn's successful birth and time here (as there was no guarantee she would have made it at all if things didn't happen exactly the way they did) was not only so that we would get to meet her and spend time with her--as I always thought was the reason, but also so that she could feel our love and know how many people love HER. I loved that Dr. Satija mentioned this today. Oh...and by the way, the doctor's there work 24 hour shifts, so even though I was hoping I would run into her today, I knew the chances were very slim bc of their hours and not being there multiple days per week. Praise God I saw this dear lady/friend/doctor today and she shared this with me. We love u sweet Avelyn and we're so glad we got to show u!!
We ended this appt around 1pm in time for Aili's hernia repair check -up, a quick stop for a picnic and playing at a park near by, then back to Spring Hill for Brooklan's eye appt. Then swimming lessons and a softball game tonight. We survived our busy day, in fact the girls did great.--I was probably more grumpy than them by the end of all the appts. :)
So on days like today, even though they are sometimes not easy--emotionally, mentally, and physically (as we were 4 for 4 with appts, some of them in downtown KC + swimming + softball), they are perfectly planned out by God. Praise Him for this; I'm so thankful for the day we had and the people I saw on my journey through the day!! Thankful I can rely on Him and He not only gets me through, but He makes me stronger during the process and better off in the end...
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