5:42pm Yesterday was a rough day for me. Josh was working, Brooklan was at camp, Aili was at daycare, and I was at home, where I was supposed to be, in our plans from the months prior, with our new baby girl--just her & I. So needless to say, it was hard to be here without her. I shed lots of tears, missing our baby girl and just longing to hold her. Last night I had a wonderful talk with a dear friend who has been through this several years ago. This helped so much. And today I was home again, but Ailiana was with me. She and I really didn't do much...actually we did nothing besides just hang out as I try to continue to catch up on things and recover. But she makes me smile and laugh. :)
This makes me think about a time when Aili was about 2 years old, we were meeting with our Parents As Teachers lady and we were observing the differences between Aili and Brooklan. Josh & I had been struggling a bit with the fact that Aili's personality was so much different than Brooklan's; it was nothing bad, but we just found it to be more challenging at times, different from what parenting had been like with Brooklan up to that point. And Sue Ann, our Parents As Teachers lady, put it perfectly...she said Aili just has a 'love for life,' she has a 'spirit-filled, love for life' personality. I will always remember this. For those of you that know Ailiana, you will probably agree with me that she doesn't go many places without running, or at least not without a bounce to her step. The other day before Avelyn's service, she had her little yellow dress on and she bounced and skipped out of the auditorium just so happily. I was standing with my Aunt at the time, and I said to her, 'this is what I picture Avelyn like in heaven.' And being with my precious, spirit-filled, full of life, bounce-to-her-step middle daughter today, just kept making me think about my healthy Avelyn in heaven...happy, healthy, dancing, singing, bouncing everywhere she goes. I praise God for all 3 of our girls, their different personalities, their similarities, and that each of them is HAPPY and HEALTHY.
As rough as yesterday was, today has been better. So many things reminding me of our now healthy youngest daughter in heaven, like the little bird chirping just outside our window as I type, and all the other blessings we continue to receive, as well--from such meaningful cards & letters to generous gifts. Thank you all and please continue to pray for me to focus on those blessings from God as we try our best to return to our new normal. Thank you. Love & Hugs.
-Michele
This makes me think about a time when Aili was about 2 years old, we were meeting with our Parents As Teachers lady and we were observing the differences between Aili and Brooklan. Josh & I had been struggling a bit with the fact that Aili's personality was so much different than Brooklan's; it was nothing bad, but we just found it to be more challenging at times, different from what parenting had been like with Brooklan up to that point. And Sue Ann, our Parents As Teachers lady, put it perfectly...she said Aili just has a 'love for life,' she has a 'spirit-filled, love for life' personality. I will always remember this. For those of you that know Ailiana, you will probably agree with me that she doesn't go many places without running, or at least not without a bounce to her step. The other day before Avelyn's service, she had her little yellow dress on and she bounced and skipped out of the auditorium just so happily. I was standing with my Aunt at the time, and I said to her, 'this is what I picture Avelyn like in heaven.' And being with my precious, spirit-filled, full of life, bounce-to-her-step middle daughter today, just kept making me think about my healthy Avelyn in heaven...happy, healthy, dancing, singing, bouncing everywhere she goes. I praise God for all 3 of our girls, their different personalities, their similarities, and that each of them is HAPPY and HEALTHY.
As rough as yesterday was, today has been better. So many things reminding me of our now healthy youngest daughter in heaven, like the little bird chirping just outside our window as I type, and all the other blessings we continue to receive, as well--from such meaningful cards & letters to generous gifts. Thank you all and please continue to pray for me to focus on those blessings from God as we try our best to return to our new normal. Thank you. Love & Hugs.
-Michele
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